Followers

15
January

CHECKS AND BALANCES PT. 3

(Continued from Checks and Balances Pt. 2)


As a little gay boy stuck in the depressing, distinctly middleclass suburbs of New Jersey, the only thing that brought me any real pleasure were the lazy hours spent parked in front of our RCA ‘Vista Color’ television set, greedily devouring deliciously brainless shows like THE BRADY BUNCH, THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY, and LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.  The idiotic sitcoms I gorged on served as a tasty appetizer for the luscious main course, which in my closet case was the MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE.  Eons ago, before cable television, DVDs or DVR, there was the MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE, also known as the graveyard where dusty, black and white studio films went to die.

One film that played continuously on THE MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE and caught my discerning ‘queer eye’ was ALL ABOUT EVEALL ABOUT EVE is the Academy Award-winning film about an aspiring ingénue Eve Harrington (Anne Baxter) who insinuates herself into the company of an established but aging stage actress Margo Channing (Bette Davis) and Margo’s circle of bitchy theater friends in order to establish herself as an actress. In one pivotal and revealing scene, the conniving Eve explains her sociopathic, take-no-prisoners ‘passion’ for the theater. “If nothing else,” Eve explains, “there’s applause…like waves of love pouring over the footlights and wrapping you up.” I quickly came to identify with the ‘real’ Eve, the lonely yet stunningly fashionable sociopath whose willingness to lie, cheat, steal or kill to land a starring role captivated me completely!

Is it any wonder that at my fascistic, all-boy, military-style sports camp, I had no choice but to morph into my hero Eve, the ruthless and calculating ingénue? Even at 6 1/2, I reasoned that a leading role was a leading role, and like all great actors, I was not going to let a little thing like gender stand in my way of hogging the limelight.  Every year, like clockwork, I auditioned and won every leading female role offered.  With gusto and aplomb, I grabbed the role of Dolly Levi, Eliza Dolittle, Maria Von Trapp, Roxy Hart, and finally in the most thrilling, yet disturbingly ironic of casting triumphs, I won the coveted role of Margo Channing, originally played on Broadway by the legendary Lauren Bacall in Camp Winaukee’s all-male version of THE ALL ABOUT EVE-inspired APPLAUSE.

Much to the chagrin of Darth Vader, our camp director, not only was I NOT ridiculed for my gutsy, nuanced performances, I received countless standing ovations in addition to the best reviews of my ‘theatrical’ career!  In my last performance as Margo in APPLAUSE, I took my final bow and despite the glare of the spotlight, I caught a glimpse of camp director Darth sitting unhappily in the back of the house, stoic and resigned as the waves of love came pouring over the footlights wrapping me up completely.

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